it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
