Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I think your dad took our porno
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
