Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
