He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
