The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
