that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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