When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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