Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
