he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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