i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
