i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
