Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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