If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
