I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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