Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
