The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You did what with his pubic hair?
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