super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
