I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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