wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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