Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
