thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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