I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
