I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
