$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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