Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
