Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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