Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
