hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
