I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
