Betty ford says i'm here all night
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
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