I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
