yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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