gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
