She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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