ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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