He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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