So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
