we're blogging at a bar
literally had 100 drinks last night.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
