I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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