The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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