Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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