wat bout pragnant strippers??
North Korea, Best Korea!
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Randomize
