You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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