lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
