So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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