I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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