Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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