Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just found a bag of teeth...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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