I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
