My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I understand Curling. That high.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
