Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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