And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
