it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
