I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
